Playing with a corked bat
Derek Jeter got caught playing with a corked bat last night. Sportswriters are riffing on the damage done to Derek the Player, Derek the Man, Derek the All-Star, and the doe-eyed youngsters sitting in the Yankee Stadium bleachers—but, hey, we've got more important things to settle first. Such as, is Derek lying?
In his post-game confessional, Jeter admitted to owning the flubberized bat but said he intended to use it only during batting practice. Somehow, the bat slipped into the dugout, and when Derek faced Tampa Bay starter Jeremy Gonzalez in the first inning, contact shattered it into a hundred pieces. Baseball has yet to mete out a suspension, but one guesses it will fall somewhere in the range of seven to eight games, the amount slapped on fellow corkers Chris Sabo, Albert Belle, and Wilton Guerrero. If Derek's telling the truth, that punishment seems about right. If not, well, the Detroit Tigers could always use another shortstop.